man helst ikke vil høre av en UP-betjent 
1) Relax, the handcuffs are tight because they're new. They'll stretch out after you wear them awhile.
2) If you take your hands off the car, I'll make your birth certificate a worthless document.
3) If you run you'll only go to jail tired.
4) So you don't know how fast you were going. I guess that means I can write anything I want on the ticket, huh?
5) Warning! You want another warning? OK, I'm warning you not to do that again, or I'll give you another ticket.
6) The answer to this last question will deterine whether you are drunk or not. Was Mickey Mouse was a cat or dog?
7) Yeah. We have a quota. Two more tickets and my wife gets a toaster.
Now, how big were those two beers?
9) No, sir, we don't have quotas anymore. We used to have quoatas, but now we're allowed to write as many tickets as we want.
10) You don't think we give pretty women tickets? You're right, we don't, now sign here ...

1) Relax, the handcuffs are tight because they're new. They'll stretch out after you wear them awhile.
2) If you take your hands off the car, I'll make your birth certificate a worthless document.
3) If you run you'll only go to jail tired.
4) So you don't know how fast you were going. I guess that means I can write anything I want on the ticket, huh?
5) Warning! You want another warning? OK, I'm warning you not to do that again, or I'll give you another ticket.
6) The answer to this last question will deterine whether you are drunk or not. Was Mickey Mouse was a cat or dog?
7) Yeah. We have a quota. Two more tickets and my wife gets a toaster.

9) No, sir, we don't have quotas anymore. We used to have quoatas, but now we're allowed to write as many tickets as we want.
10) You don't think we give pretty women tickets? You're right, we don't, now sign here ...