Diverse flyproblemer
Legg innLagt inn:15 mar 2005 00:29
Ok. Fikk denne mailen fra min onkel i usa...
This is funny..And for real.
>
>After every flight, Qantas pilots fill out a form,
called a "gripe sheet," which tells mechanics about
problems with the aircraft.
>The mechanics correct the problems, document their
repairs on the form, and then pilots review the gripe
sheets before the next flight.
>Never let it be said that ground crews lack a sense
of humor.
>
>Here are some actual maintenance complaints submitted
by Qantas' pilots (marked with a P) and the solutions
recorded (marked with an S) by maintenance engineers.
>
>By the way, Qantas is the only major airline that has
never had an accident.
>... Enjoy!
>
>
>P: Left inside main tire almost needs replacement.
>S: Almost replaced left inside main tire.
>
>
>P: Test flight OK, except auto-land very rough.
>S: Auto-land not installed on this aircraft.
>
>
>P: Something loose in cockpit.
>! ;S: Something tightened in cockpit.
>
>
>P: Dead bugs on windshield.
>S: Live bugs on back-order.
>
>
>P: Autopilot in altitude-hold mode produces a 200
feet per minute
>descent.
>S: Cannot reproduce problem on ground.
>
>
>P: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear.
>S: Evidence removed.
>
>
>P: DME volume unbelievably loud.
>S: DME volume set to more believable level.
>
>
>P: Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick.
>S: That's what they're for.
>
>
>P: IFF inoperative.
>S: IFF always inoperative in OFF mode.
>
>P: Suspected crack in windshield.
>S: Suspect you're right.
>
>
>P: Number 3 engine missing.
>S: Engine found on right wing after brief search.
>
>
>P: Aircraft handles funny. (I love this one!)
>S: Aircraft warned to straighten up, fly right, and!
be serious.
>
>
>P: Target radar hums.
>S: Reprogrammed target radar with lyrics.
>
>
>P: Mouse in cockpit.
>S: Cat installed.
>
>And the best one for last..................
>
>P: Noise coming from under instrument panel. Sounds
like a midget pounding on something with a hammer.
>S: Took hammer away from midget
This is funny..And for real.
>
>After every flight, Qantas pilots fill out a form,
called a "gripe sheet," which tells mechanics about
problems with the aircraft.
>The mechanics correct the problems, document their
repairs on the form, and then pilots review the gripe
sheets before the next flight.
>Never let it be said that ground crews lack a sense
of humor.
>
>Here are some actual maintenance complaints submitted
by Qantas' pilots (marked with a P) and the solutions
recorded (marked with an S) by maintenance engineers.
>
>By the way, Qantas is the only major airline that has
never had an accident.
>... Enjoy!
>
>
>P: Left inside main tire almost needs replacement.
>S: Almost replaced left inside main tire.
>
>
>P: Test flight OK, except auto-land very rough.
>S: Auto-land not installed on this aircraft.
>
>
>P: Something loose in cockpit.
>! ;S: Something tightened in cockpit.
>
>
>P: Dead bugs on windshield.
>S: Live bugs on back-order.
>
>
>P: Autopilot in altitude-hold mode produces a 200
feet per minute
>descent.
>S: Cannot reproduce problem on ground.
>
>
>P: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear.
>S: Evidence removed.
>
>
>P: DME volume unbelievably loud.
>S: DME volume set to more believable level.
>
>
>P: Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick.
>S: That's what they're for.
>
>
>P: IFF inoperative.
>S: IFF always inoperative in OFF mode.
>
>P: Suspected crack in windshield.
>S: Suspect you're right.
>
>
>P: Number 3 engine missing.
>S: Engine found on right wing after brief search.
>
>
>P: Aircraft handles funny. (I love this one!)
>S: Aircraft warned to straighten up, fly right, and!
be serious.
>
>
>P: Target radar hums.
>S: Reprogrammed target radar with lyrics.
>
>
>P: Mouse in cockpit.
>S: Cat installed.
>
>And the best one for last..................
>
>P: Noise coming from under instrument panel. Sounds
like a midget pounding on something with a hammer.
>S: Took hammer away from midget
